iyak si shai...

-sniff sniff-

i can't even begin to tell you... but im writing this while the tears are continually pouring out...

i failed my qualifying exams in spanish... i really don't know how to take it in...

i failed by 3pts. im really devastated.

lam mo un... bigla atang gumuho ang mundo ko. ang hirap tanggapin. ilang months ko inintay ung results... sabi ko, pag pumasa ako magcecelebrate ako... ayyy... kasi nag-feeling...

-sniff sniff-

di ko lam kung dapat magresign na ako. hahaha. i failed my qualifying exams. para akong law student who failed the bar. or an engineering grad who failed the licensing exam.

ganun pala ung feeling. parang di mo lam kung pwede ka pang lumabas ng bahay mo bukas and look people in the eye. :-(

i feel like such a loser. i know, drama... -sniff sniff-

i lost all my confidence in my abilities... i lost everything talaga. nakakahiya. i swear...

kahit i-qualify ko na three points lang eh... or i only failed 1 part out of the 5 parts there... hindi rin... it's not like that at all... a failure is still a failure.

bounce back, shai. bounce back.

huhuhuhu... not now... i don't feel like i could even get up if i wanted to.

i failed. i can't believe it. i failed. :-(

sakit na ng ulo ko crying over it. di naman magbabago ung results even if i cry it all out. pero masakit talaga. i swear. masakit talaga sya.

and to think ms mel and i were just talking this night about how i feel like im not qualified right now for the demands of the job... and then this. huhuhuhu... what more? pustahan tayo i won't be regularized. ahahah. joke. knock on the wood. wag naman...

i just feel so low. nakakahiya talaga. i failed the exam. crap. what the hell am i doing speaking spanish. apparently im not qualified to do it. crap talaga. crap.

wala na... there goes shai's confidence, the little of it left, out the door. bye bye confidence...

shai failed. akala ko pa naman wala sa vocabulary ko ang salitang un. it exists pala after all.

:-(

let me go cry some more.