08 February 2010

old post: a fact of life

sometimes we have to accept things just as they are.

much as we want to dig deeper and understand its core, some things are not meant to be understood like that.

so eventhough it's a little hard to explain, and for the life of me i just really cannot understand why, i just have to accept that i might never understand why or that i might never know the answer.

just as some things should be left untouched... some secrets should never be shared... some promises will never be kept... there are some things in life that remain in the past, precisely because they don't have a place in the present, nor do they have any in the future.

i think that for the longest time, i've never truly been able to let go of my lifeline, my umbilical cord, bec i feel like i owe them some debt of gratitude (i'm not talking about my parents, in case you get that idea). i feel like i owe it to them to... not move on. but the thing is, moving forward or not moving forward, is a choice only i can make, whether i feel some sort of debt or i don't... this is entirely of my choosing.

one day soon, i will learn to let go of that part of my life. and when i do, i know there will be no looking back. when that day comes, i know that i will be able to look myself in the mirror and not flinch out of guilt... but i will look at myself and be happy bec i recognize that i'm no longer the lost, little girl i used to be.

one day soon... i will be able to look back on this and think happy thoughts. :-)

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