old post: now i understand

about 3 years ago, i asked God: why?

why did you lead me down the path of law when it seems I am not meant to stay. I know that i asked you for many signs whether it is my calling to stay, but it seems I was not meant to stay. So why...

to this day, i still don't know... whether going there served a higher purpose in my life. but i do know that the experience was truly invaluable to me. i've met people that i know will be friends for life. i may not understand entirely, but there are some parts that i only get to appreciate now.

i remember that back in lawschool, i started out with just two friends. we would study together, eat together, have sleepovers together, shop together... they were the closest friends i have - my comfort zone. then one incident during our retreat, not only separated me from these two friends, but also became the definitive moment in our block's lives.

back then, i also asked God, why?

i don't like losing friends. even if i make friends easily, i don't like being on negative terms with anyone. when that one incident happened, i felt really sad and alone - as i felt that i lost two of my closest friends.

but now, i realized that if that one incident did not happen, i would not have the chance to explore friendships with other people within our block. i would not have the chance or inclination to go out of my comfort zone and spend time with people that i would otherwise not spend time with.

now as i look back on why those things happened, i realize it truly is an act of God - for my limited human mind could never have imagined that from such adversity, new friendships would bloom and a deeper confidence will arise from myself.

now, more than ever, i truly believe that there are things far greater than i am or what i can imagine for myself - and that only God can make them happen. Back then, i could never understand why things had to happen - why friendships had to be severed, why turmoil had to surface, etc - but now, i believe they are for a greater purpose.

i can't believe it's been three years... sometimes it feels as if it were only yesterday... so now that i am yet again at a crossroads in my life, and i am asking again, why? i think back to three years ago, and i begin to have a bit more faith... that whatever i am going through right now, there is a purpose. i may not understand it right now, but i trust that God will always be with me. i pray Lord, that you give me strength, so that i can trust in You always.