old post: 3:31 am

... hello early morning... it's been sucha long time since i stayed up this late AND still working.

i was telling James the other day, I seriously don't know what lit the fire under me again, but I'm partly glad. I was missing my workaholic self. It's just not the same. lol.

One thing I do know is that I am regaining a bit of the control that was rapidly spinning out of my reach. It's a very good thing that it has not totally fled because I don't know if I'd been able to come back if that happened.

Maybe I'd finally been able to recharge my batteries... maybe I'd come to terms with some of my demons... I don't know... but at least for now I am much, much calmer and a little more stable than in the past 2-3 months.

I guess I am a bit excited with the developments about to happen to the team. I really am. Maybe that's what's brought me back from my self-hiatus. All I know is that it seems I've woken up from a long sleep.

Well, I'm most definitely back to my workaholic self. No more sacred weekends, at least for the time being. I'm on fire and I want to take advantage of it.

I know that my demons aren't gone, they've just simmered down, waiting for that time when they will rear their ugly heads again. When that time comes, and it is only a matter of time, I know what I will do. Believe me I do. I will sever my demons from me once and for all.

Technically this is still a limbo period, but one that I like better.

Funny how I remember what James said earlier during lunch: "Don't you just love it when Shai gets all fired up?" Ehh... maybe I've been too passive as it is... oh well. Break's over ;-p