old post: a month later and...

i realized i haven't written a note in so long... i don't think i ever went a month before without writing anything...

it was half i didn't really have the time and half i was avoiding writing...

i. am. torn.

three words yet they mean so much. i need to pray over this and make sure i make the right decision for me. just for me. not for anybody else. i think at this juncture, i can rightfully be self-focused.

one on end lies this absolutely great challenge. on the other lies this absolutely great adventure. both have limitations. both have their downsides. both are equally dear to me; otherwise i wouldn't be needing to decide one over the other.

i know i can't do both - it's not possible. i tried but i can't. it's either one or the other.

after all, i can't have my cake and eat it too.

i need to pray. i need to ask for guidance on this. i need to make some 'big girl' decisions. soon.